Joe Fahey Lyrics
Baker's Cousin
LYRICS
All Quiet on the Midwestern Front
It’s 37 degrees out
and that’s above zero
the snow I never shoveled
is starting to melt
there’s a vaccine on the horizon
there’s a sunrise in the East
there’s a peaceful, easy feeling
it’s all quiet on the midwestern front
the eagle sailed like a schooner
the hawk let out a lonesome cry
the sun shone like a space heater
on maximum overdrive
tomorrow is tomorrow
and yesterday was yesterday
with no predictions or redos to process
today is just today
there’s a vaccine on the horizon
there’s a sunrise in the East
there’s a peaceful, easy feeling
it’s all quiet on the midwestern front
Two Left Feet
got two left feet
just born that way
you got believe it when I say
I try to get it right
every day, every day
I try to get it right
having two left feet
sets you apart from the rest
for one thing
you can’t walk in a straight line
you’re always going to the right
to the right to the right
you’re always going to the right
got two left feet
just raised that way
you gotta believe it
when it’s on display
I try and get it right every day
but I just can’t get it right
get it right
get it right
get it right
you can’t dance well
with two left feet
but nobody’s ever
gonna dance like you
so you do what you do
because that’s all you can do
and maybe things’ll take a turn
after that
after that
after that
Down to the Wire
it’s always down to the wire
why is it always down to the wire?
because if there was no wire
you wouldn’t do anything
I stayed up late last night
and the year before that as well
haven’t slept since that one election
but that’s ok I heard that sleep
was just a waste of time
Abe Lincoln said that
I saw it on his Facebook
post at 4:20am
it’s always down to the wire
why is it always down to the wire?
because if there was no wire
you wouldn’t do anything
drove up to the parish
to get your communion wafers
forgot my ID on the nightstand
I was counting on my rosary for a valid ID
bought a stack of concert tickets
at the dawn of 2020
no Buddy Holly just the crickets
kinda funny funny funny about
2020 2020 2020
missed a deadline hit to the Fineline
as the band just hit the merch line
why the fuck didn’t I get here on time?
I missed the last 3 notes at this last chance saloon
it’s always down to the wire
WHY IS IT ALWAYS DOWN TO THE WIRE???
WHY IS IT ALWAYS DOWN TO THE WIRE???
WIRE WIRE WIRE WIRE WIRE!!!!
Untethered
freedom began during the early days
disconnection from the given things
that tied you down like you had clipped wings
and you just kept drifting, drifting along
wondering if this direction is not wrong
untethered
but also feeling weathered
by this unrelentless storm
that never goes away
un-tethered
for worse or for better
finding a new form
to make it through
these later days
the expanse of this new horizon line
deceives you in a sidetracked way
more empty lanes make a wider freeway
and you kept driving, driving along
listening to about a million songs
untethered
but also feeling weathered
by this unrelentless storm
that never goes away
un-tethered
for worse or for better
finding a new form
to make it through
these later days
the disconnection from all those given things
were like gifts wrapped with ribbons and bling
and they freed you from the way you used to sing
and you kept getting freer and freer
until the sun shone like a diamond ring
untethered
but also feeling weathered
by this unrelentless storm
that never goes away
un-tethered
for worse or for better
finding a new form
to make it through
these later days
The Balmy Snows of June
this waterway is all we got
to connect us to the sea
won’t you help me build a raft
and take a chance on me
won’t you join me at the river?
when the cottonwood’s in bloom
of your love I’d gladly take a sliver
during the balmy snows of June
the birds are free and so are we
but not these 12-dollar cocktails
let’s hit the trail share some words
then work out all the details
won’t you join me at the river?
when the cottonwood’s in bloom
of your love I’d gladly take a sliver
during the balmy snows of June
let’s have a picnic on the bridge
and listen to the water flow
share our love behind the ridge
on top of the cotton snow
won’t you join me at the river?
when the cottonwood’s in bloom
of your love I’d gladly take a sliver
during the balmy snows of June
during the balmy snows of June
Nobody’s Afraid of Ringo
His darkness was not an issue
no brooding on the edge of town
he was happy to get in a word edgewise
get some bouncy notes on the piano down
Nobody’s afraid of Ringo
he just rocks the roof not the boat
nobody’s afraid of Ringo
everyone agrees he’s the G.O.A.T.
He loves love and he loves peace
Even when he’s beating the drums
he could rest a cigarette on his lip
and rock an Edwardian coat
Nobody’s afraid of Ringo
he just rocks the roof not the boat
nobody’s afraid of Ringo
everyone agrees he’s the G.O.A.T.
son and cousin of a baker
he could really shake a shaker
and take some reverb from a submarine
for the mix on the tambourine
He got his work done fast on Pepper
but he never left his post
you could find him playing chess with Mal Evans
sipping tea and eating toast
Nobody’s afraid of Ringo
he just rocks the roof not the boat
nobody’s afraid of Ringo
everyone agrees he’s the G.O.A.T.
All the Birds of North America
All the Birds of North America
couldn’t get a handle on you
behind the glass
with those binoculars
won’t even come out to say boo
Cos they’d fly, fly, fly, fly away
they’d fly fly fly fly away
All the words in your vernacular
couldn’t say how you feel today
you watch the birds
with your binoculars
wishing you could fly away
wish you could fly fly fly fly away
wish you could fly fly fly fly away
wish you could fly fly fly fly away
wish you could fly fly fly fly away
You watch the world through a flat screen
aurora borealis on display
the birds they watch you
though their binoculars
wondering why you don’t fly away
you wanna fly fly fly fly away
wish you could fly fly fly fly away
you wanna fly fly fly fly away
fly fly fly fly away
One-note Melody
You’re walking on the beach
It seemed so out of reach
But you finally ate a peach
so now you’re walking on the beach
One note melody
That’s all you can write
One note melody
I guess it’s all right
you’re skipping lots of stones
and thinking about your home
it’s full of tvs and phones
But now you’re skipping stones
One note melody
That’s all you can write
One note melody
I guess it’s all right
you’re drawing in the sand
In some new distant land
Maybe start a band
Or just drawing in the sand
One note melody
That’s all you can write
One note melody
I guess it’s all right
Going to Cancun
I’m going to Cancun
but I’ll be back real soon
trying be a good dad after
attempting a coup down at the office
all the power’s out at home
feels like time for me to roam
the wheels on my suitcase
clicking faster than the paparazzi
think I’ll grab a magazine
and a pack of Dentyne
check the kiosks down in duty-free
for a cloak of invisibilty
Lying in the sun
with my new man bun
I think the optics and tequila
are both trying to kill me
the Mescal worm made me stumble
even heard a turtle mumble
one night in Cancun even makes
the tough guys tumble
Lying in the sun
with my new man bun
I think the optics and tequila
are both trying to kill me
The Day I Left the Flat Earth Society
The day I left the Flat Earth Society
there was a rainbow in the sky
I steered my car in that direction
and followed it to the end of the line
as I stood at the edge of the world
I knew I should’ve thought a little deeper
before tendering my resignation
in that moment of indignation
As my eyes saw the heavens
and my toes touched the cosmos
and my elbows stayed behind
in case I get into a bind
I thought about the note I left
and how it might be perceived
as I stared down at the universe
I let my shoulders go and finally breathed
as I stood at the edge of the world
I knew I should’ve thought a little deeper
before tendering my resignation
in that moment of indignation
As I jumped into the stars
I felt a hundred million pounds go free
I let go of all my passwords,
and my monthly service fees
as I stood at the edge of the world
I knew I should’ve thought a little deeper
before tendering my resignation
in that moment of indignation
I Don’t Really Care
Yeah, let’s get out of this one-horse town
get ourselves a credit card
rent a car
maybe book a room
book a room
book a room
book a room
We can do what we wanna do
it’s a free country for me and Q
we’ll be marching down Pennsylvania Avenue
I don’t really care
I don’t really care
the left might think they’re all right
in a blind and narrow way
they might think it’s always going to go
the way they think it’s rigged to go
saw you at the rally in the Beehive State
in that camouflage bikini and it felt like fate
I don’t really care
I don’t really care
the message on my phone “be there...
it’s gonna be wild, wild, wild”
we gotta fight like hell and stop the steal
the storm is coming, this shit's gettin’ real
scaling the walls like chimpanzees
instead of using the stairs like the elites
got our chemical sprays and flag-pole spears
sending GPS selfies in our tactical gear
they’re probably drinking 7-Up from a platinum cup
got a silver platter for their Pronto-pups
the Shaman’s in the chamber
performing quite the show
like the Grand Poo-BAH of the water buffalo
I don’t really care
I don’t really care
and we don’t even care
what the facts are here
they just have to fit in a different little bit
and make it sound like the truth
now it’s midnight at the oasis near Belvidere
eating Chicken McNuggets in homemade riot gear
I don’t really care
I don’t really care
I don’t really care
I don’t really
I don’t really
I don’t really care
Where’s That Confounded Bridge?
I think that Led Zeppelin really nailed
that 64-thousand dollar question
when they asked the teenage wasteland
where’s that confounded bridge
some knew they were just messing
and riffing on James Brown
but most of us were too high
to get that down
but yes, I would like to know where
that confounded bridge is too
the link that joins us together
in just about any type of weather
bank to bank with its tethers,
over canyons and rivers
some suspend and some quiver
sometimes you need to get to the other side
bond with your friends in the west...
embrace the greatness of the west
join together with the west
on the humid banks of the river
the air is so thick you could
capture it in a tupperware bowl
seal up your crescent city soul
to share with your friends
when that artic air blends
with the warmth that it sends
yes, I would like to know
where that confounded bridge is
the link that joins us together
in just about any type of weather
bank to bank with its tethers,
over canyons and rivers
some suspend and some quiver
and sometimes you need to get to the other side
and bond with your friends in the west...
join with your friends in the west
east to west....
east to west....
east to west
the humid banks of the river
the air is so thick you could capture it,
in a tupperware bowl
crescent city soul...
to share with your soulmates
while the arctic air blends
with the warmth that it sends
The Oldest Punk in the World
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
He was the oldest punk in the world
she asked him what he was rebelling against
he said whadyya got?
she asked him what he was punking against
he said whadyya got?
he said let’s do this song this way
because we can do it any way
he said let’s do it this way
because I don’t know the chords anyway
All lyrics written by Joseph Brian Fahey
© 2022 Rough Fish Music
February On Ice
Lyrics
Dante's Inferno
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to breathe here?
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to drink?
Dante's Inferno's just a mile down the road
bring your Bic lighter, light it up and go home
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to smoke here?
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to see?
Dante's Inferno's just a mile down the road
bring your Bic lighter, light it up and go home
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to eat here?
What are you gonna do
when the sun shines through your skin?
Dante's Inferno's just a mile down the road
bring your Bic lighter, light it up and go home
Dante's Inferno's just a mile down the road
well bring your Bic lighter, light it up and go home
I Never Heard of Van Halen
I never heard of Van Halen
so why don’t you leave me alone
you might think I’m just trailing
lost in the twilight zone
Ok boomer
what’s the point
of this inquisition?
What do you care?
Why do you care?
What difference does it make anyway?
Oh I forgot
something about those Camaro nights
revving it up with careless love under summer starlight
Oh I forget
about those sparkling bonfires by the riverside
and those long-lasting, deep kisses after midnight
Ok boomer
what’s the point
of this inquisition?
What do you care?
Why do you care?
What difference does it make anyway?
I never heard of magnetic tape
what’s the problem you damn dirty ape?
I just wanna escape
to the planet of the vapes
Ok boomer
what’s the point
of this inquisition?
What do you care?
Why do you care?
What difference does it make anyway?
Mainline Suzie (With the Shaky Dentures)
Mainline Suzie was a bundle of joy
getting your hopes up
before the final rope-up
and mixing up a mean Rob Roy
Mainline Suzie
With her shaky dentures
leads her disciples
on with her achy ventures
Mainline Suzie’s a heck of a ride
when she’s playing the part
of a soldier at your side, yeah
We all loved her at that knock-out party
when she was on a roll
shooting up maple syrup
like it was cortisone for the soul
Mainline Suzie
With her shaky dentures
leads her disciples
on with her achy ventures
Mainline Suzie’s a heck of a ride
when she’s playing the part
of a soldier at your side, yeah
Mainline Suzie
With her shaky dentures
leads her disciples
on with her achy ventures
Mainline Suzie’s a heck of a ride
when she’s playing the part
of a soldier at your side, yeah
So why don’t you go back to the woods now
where you feel right at home?
playing "Wipe Out" with the Charmin Bears
playing solos with a tissue and comb
Mainline Suzie
With her shaky dentures
leads her disciples
on with her achy ventures
Mainline Suzie’s a heck of a ride
when she’s playing the part
of that soldier at your side, yeah
Mainline Suzie
With her shaky dentures
leads her disciples
on with her achy ventures
Mainline Suzie’s a heck of a ride
when she’s playing the part
of that soldier at your side, yeah
Yeah, yeah
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Ocean Song
There must be something inside us
to go back to whence you came
somewhere to belly crawl back to
back to the sea, back to the flame
Float gently, float free
drift into the outer space of the sea
open your eyes like it's the first time
this clear blue world is what you need
These legs and feet have been useful it's true
to tromp through deserts and forests
but these fins are all you need to guide you today
tomorrow it might be wings over Mandalay
Float gently, float free
drift into the outer space of the sea
open your eyes like it's the first time
this clear blue world is what you need
The salt holds you up like a best friend
you’re invisible to the dive-bombing pelicans
the tarpon don’t mind if you swim along
as the dolphins sing their porpoise song
Float gently, float free
drift into the outer space of the sea
open your eyes like it's the first time
this clear blue world is all you need
Day Drinking With Dracula
That shadowy figure at the end of the bar
hid his face behind his cape and lit a big cigar
looking a wee bit scary as he drank his Bloody Mary
said he had no first name but we can call him Larry
Day drinking with Dracula
what could be more spectacular?
This old gin joint is as safe as can be
hasn’t seen a crack of light since 1963
An old salesman from DC Hey
walked in through the door
carrying a giant sample book
as he stumbled ‘cross the floor
he grabbed himself a bar stool
asked if anyone’s sitting there?
said it’s a dog-eat-dog world and
he’s wearing milk bone underwear
Day drinking with Dracula
what could be more spectacular?
This old gin joint is as safe as can be
hasn’t seen a crack of light since 1963
The pull-tab queen from Abeline
swore loudly at the TV
the sound was off but she didn’t like
that snobby host on Jeopardy
Dracula was feeling smooth
as he turned his head and said
is that a mirror in your pants
'cos I can see myself in them?
Day drinking with Dracula
what could be more spectacular?
This old gin joint is as safe as can be
hasn’t seen a crack of light since 1963
Day drinking with Dracula
What could be more spectacular?
This old gin joint is as safe as can be
Hasn’t seen a crack of light since 1963
I Feel So Alone Now
I feel so alone now
I really do
my last lifeline
needs more time
to sort things out
and I understand
I really do
I’ve wasted enough people’s time
with my harebrained schemes
and unrealistic dreams
and I don’t blame them
I really don’t
for falling by the wayside
while I struggle with my long ride
I know I’m still loved
but with a certain amount of caution
and disconnection
and the ones who I truly love back
have other things to do
and to worry about
to process
to sort out
I understand
I really do
we’re all trying to find our way
This can be a cold planet
nobody ever promised
the idea of an easy ride
for born-again orphans
hopped up on endorphins
guiding you through the pain
trying to be happy when it rains
trying to be hopeful when it pours
trying to keep the salt out of the wounds
Can’t expect to be understood
when you don’t even know
what makes you tick
and that’s not even the half of it
living too long inside one’s head
afraid of making contact
or being rejected
just never really fit
into the scheme of things
Some people prefer that artists
stay on their shelves on their walls
but it’s different sharing a refrigerator
being a pebble’s throw
down the hall
I feel so alone now
I really do
my last lifeline
needs more time
to sort things out
snd I understand
I really do
When the Glass Breaks
In the foggy transition
between night and morning
dreams and lucid reality
singular in your duality
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
In the hazy moment
between poise and imbalance
lies the emptiness of a cavity
the guarantee of gravity
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
How many times can this happen?
when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
when dynamite is a sedative
and chaos is the flavor of the week
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
When the glass breaks
there’s no going back
When your heart aches
there’s no going back
Greetings from Jazzbury Park
Greetings from Jazzbury Park
greetings from Jazzbury Park
the surf is up and it's way after dark
there's fermented hollering in the the dark
Greetings from Jazzbury Park
it's pretty late here not many people around
greetings from Jazzbury Park
no three-drink minimum but
you might as well get another round
I saw a reggae band playing an Eric Clapton Song
but it wasn't the Bob Marley song
about shooting the Sheriff
it was one of his own where he told his wife
she looked wonderful tonight
and it was followed by an encore of American Pie
Jazzbury Park after dark
Jazzbury Park after dark
Jazzbury Park after dark
Jazzbury Park after dark
That Northtown Mall (Has Got it All)
The dimly lit event space
was strewn with blades of purple, plastic grass
the Easter bunny’s bones were found there
buried in the planters full of cigarettes and chewing gum and artificial sassafras
That Northtown Mall has got it all
from a Karmelkorn Shoppe
to a place to buy cough drops
that Northtown Mall has got it all
more parking spaces than the Taj Majal
Took the road up to the north part,
the north part of town
saw wispy snow devils dancing across
the pot-holes on the boulevard
looking like the ghosts of Christmas Sales Past
but a bit more enhancing,
with their hollyhocks and sassafras
That Northtown Mall has got it all
from a Karmelkorn Shoppe
to a place to buy cough drops
that Northtown Mall has got it all
more parking spaces than the Taj Majal
I wouldn’t normally be out on a night like this
If my mouse hadn’t died
while doing this recording shit
wearing a glove and a mitt
it doesn’t really matter, if the lyrics fit
That Northtown Mall has got it all
from a Karmelkorn Shoppe
to a place to buy cough drops
that Northtown Mall has got it all
more parking spaces than the Taj Majal
I walked in through the out door
something I've never dared to do until tonight
I didn't even know if it would work
but it did, yes it did
yes it did, yes it did
yes it did, yes it did
That Northtown Mall has got it all
from a Karmelkorn Shoppe
to a place to buy cough drops
that Northtown Mall has got it all
more parking spaces than the Taj Majal
Fuck the Republicans
Lyndsey Graham and Mitch McConnell
were planning their tactics again
over a bowl of grits and some fried-green tomatos
to see how much the taxpayers would spend
Fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
Susan Collins had the best health-care plan
in the Western Galaxy
like a guidance counselor from a John Hughes' film
she said she's sure that Ferris has learned his lesson
Fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
Mittens McRomney stood on the Great Salt Flats
in the baking sun of the noon day
in his freshly-ironed Rustler jeans and his magic underwear
waiting for the spaceship to take him away
Fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
yeah, fuck the Republicans
Love Isn't a Light Switch
Love isn’t a light switch
that you can just turn
off and on
maybe it’s more like a dimmer
that you can adjust gradually
from a glimmer to a shimmer
until you’re ready
to turn the brights on
take it full on
until it’s time to dial it back
before you have a heart attack
from too much love
aimed in the wrong direction
Away
After you're away for a while
you wonder, if you will be missed
as your head plays those tricks on you
dreaming about the times that you kissed
But you know the word spins on
and soon it doesn't matter
it's about the here and now
making that better somehow
It's not just a reboot on the inside
but for the benefit of others
giving evolution something to do
while the kings all do
the Toodle-oo
But you know the word spins on
and soon it doesn't matter
it's about the here and now
making that better somehow
The horizon's as flat as a pancake
or a Head East album at 32-and-a-third
that's RPM for those keeping track
by the end, it's a bit of a blur
But you know the word spins on
and soon it doesn't matter
it's about the here and now
making that better somehow
But you know the word spins on
and soon it doesn't matter
it's about the here and now
making that better somehow
Dante's Inferno (Reprise)
What are you gonna do
when the glaciers flood your basement
what are you gonna do
when you have to answer to Al Gore?
Dante's Inferno was just
a mile down the road
you should have brought your light sabre
battled darkness and then gone home
What are you gonna do
when your Malbec tastes like Saké?
What are you gonna do when your
I don't know what tastes like something else
I can't remember
Dante's Inferno was just
a mile down the road
you should have brought your light sabre
battled darkness and then gone home
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to breathe here?
What are you gonna do
when there's nothing left to drink?
Dante's Inferno was just
a mile down the road
you should have brought your light sabre
battled the darkness and gone home
Dante's Inferno was just
a mile down the road
you should have brought your light sabre
battled the darkness and gone home
All lyrics written by Joseph Brian Fahey
© 2021 Rough Fish Music